Written by: Jenny
I am a person who loves schedules. I love routine.
So, on September 24, 2010, it was just business as usual as I wrapped up my radio show, packed up my stuff, got into my car and headed up the highway toward home.
Only, I made a pit stop.
At North Kansas City Hospital.
I was in labor.
I had gone through a very painful three-year infertility struggle. Month after month... disappointment after disappointment. Failed treatments. Miscarriages. Failed IVF (that was supposed to be THE winner, right? Wrong.) Finally, a successful cycle. A viable pregnancy.
Anxiety. Fear. Please let this one stick... please let me give birth to this child. I promise I will be the best mom. I will love her and take such good care of her. I just need the chance. Please God.
37 weeks. I made it. I was in labor. Was this really happening?
For as difficult as it was to get pregnant, my labor and delivery couldn't have been more amazing. Easy. Short.
And out came the most beautiful child I had ever seen.
Tears. Praise to God for trusting me with this gift. For answering my prayers.
Was this real? Was she really mine?
I was in a state of disbelief. After so much heartbreak and wanting this child for so, so long... she was finally here. In my arms. My little girl.
They whisked her away shortly after she was born to clean her up and swaddle her as only the amazing nurses can do (I was never able to master the swaddle the way they did!). They wheeled her back into my room.
I just stared at her.
She opened her eyes.
I looked deep into those beautiful baby blues and I'll never know why this was one of my very first thoughts. But, it was.
'One day, she'll go to Kindergarten'.
I just tucked in my funny, smart, kind, sweet, innocent, amazing five-year old tonight.
Tomorrow is her first day of... Kindergarten.
Where in the world did the time go?
Sleepless nights. Nursing. Binkies. Sitting up. Pulling up. Walking. Talking. Learning. Big sister. Friend. Student.
How did it all happen so fast?
Almost a blur.
Yet, with every stage and every age I say it's 'my favorite'. It just keeps getting better.
I kissed her on the forehead as I said 'goodnight'. And now, I write. And, I cry.
Tears of happiness and gratitude.
The thought I had tonight as I stared into those blue eyes... 'one day she'll be going off to college'.
I almost don't want to close my own eyes tonight because I know that that moment, too, will be here in a blink.
I am so blessed to be her mother. I am so grateful to know this love. A love bigger than I ever even could have imagined.