Life: Stuff My Ostomy Taught Me
Written by: Jenny
Sometimes really bad things happen. I've lived through a lot of those moments. Most recently, a (what should have been simple) surgery-gone-wrong. I was left with a Colostomy. In seven days, I'll have it taken down and if everything goes well, I should be back to normal.
An interesting word.
When everything just goes along as it always has... business as usual... a 'whole' person... is that 'normal'? And who decided what was actually 'normal' anyway?
Pooping in a bag attached to my side. THAT doesn't feel normal what-so-ever and if you had told me a year ago that this would happen to me, I would've never believed you. I also would've completely freaked out and needed sedation because of the panic that would've set in.
However, it DID happen to me. I AM living this life. And ya know what else? I SURVIVED it. Just as you or anyone else would.
I think that's the biggest thing I've learned from this entire experience. Anxiety is really... dumb. I have struggled with it for most of my life. And the thing is? Worry is pointless. It won't change the outcome. It actually only makes things worse. And when push comes to shove and 'stuff happens'? Something kind of magical happens and mega-inner strength takes over.
Circumstances may not be great. In fact, they may completely suck. But, each of us is so much stronger than we even know. Until we get tested. That's when it shines.
So, back to that word 'normal'. A Colostomy saved my life. No, for real -- I would've died without it. I can't hate something that did such a powerful thing. But, wearing a bag isn't the norm and people judge. I have felt stares. I have heard comments. I have seen really nervous faces. Did I really show up at the pool in a swimsuit? You bet I did.
As long as we are breathing, we should be 'living' the best we can. The opinions of others don't matter. And I don't think a lot of people have bad intentions behind their judgement. I think it's nervousness. Fear of what they don't know. I'm as guilty as anyone.
We should all give acceptance a try. Because we all have a story.